Saying "Goodbye" is Never Easy

I was once told by Al Dewlen, an award winning and best selling novelist, that a writer must have something worthwhile to say before he sets pen to paper and commences to write. Over the years, he told me many things -- mostly useful and often hilarious.

Early yesterday morning, this remarkable man -- who happened to be my stepdad -- died.

So, after many months of not posting on this forum, I finally have something to say. But what I have to say is very difficult, because it is my farewell to a man who has meant so much to my mother, to me and to my family.

I could begin my farewell by reciting his literary works, including those best-sellers that were made into major motion pictures during the early sixties.

Or, I could mention the heroic death of his son and my step-brother, Marine Lt. Michael Dewlen, which spawned his widely read and courageous Reader's Digest feature article that led to some of the most horrific and debased hate mail that a writer ever received.

I could mention his own service in the Marine Corps during World War II, when he and four other of his fellow Marines were charged with supervising 30,000 Japanese soldiers who had surrendered in China, and about how he spent more than two years in the Pacific Theater during the war without sleeping a single night indoors.

And, for the first time, I could mention his meritorious service with the Central Intelligence Agency and for which he was awarded one of the highest honors given by that institution.

I could talk about his early newspaper career, when he oversaw the growth of the daily newspaper in Amarillo from a publication with a very small circulation to one of the most influential newspapers in the state.

I could mention his devotion to Baylor University (my own alma mater), and speak of the generous monetary contributions that he made to the school and its athletic programs. To say how much would be bragging, so I will defer, as he would have wished.

But all of that is the stuff for a newspaper article reporting the passing of a public figure. This is personal. Even though I am no spring chicken, myself, I have lost my stepdad, and I loved, admired and respected him.

Some years ago, Al met my widowed mother on a blind date. And although they were mature, level-headed people, they almost immediately fell in love, and within three weeks they were married. I never before saw couple so much in love. And they did everything together. My daughter, Erin, described the relationship better than perhaps I could describe it. She said, "Al and grandma were soul mates." And indeed they were.

With no disrespect toward any of their former spouses, including my own father, I believe that I can say with some confidence that Al and my mother shared a love, companionship and mutual respect that they never before had experienced with anyone else.

And so, with the fondest of memories that will remain with me for the rest of my life, I now say, "Farewell, Dad."