Vacation? No Problem!

For most people, the annual two-week respite from work is a chance to get away for a time of relaxation and enjoyment. The day-to-day cares and concerns of the job are put on hold, at least for a little while. Some folks meticulously plan each moment of their vacation, while others simply go on the fly.

For me, as with most lawyers who operate their own firms, vacations are rare and require a considerable amount of planning. Usually, whenever I decide to take a couple of weeks for holiday, I have to block out the time several months in advance. Then, I have to file a notice with the Courts in every lawsuit in which I am involved setting forth the dates upon which I am unavailable and requesting that no hearings or trials are set on any of those dates. Even then, some kind of scheduling problem arises that requires me to make arrangements either to have the scheduled matter attended to by another attorney or to have the matter re-scheduled.

Fortunately, most attorneys are accommodating in scheduling around an opponent's vacation plans. But the time, effort and expense involved in blocking out even a couple of weeks sometimes is immense. And it is for that reason that many lawyers like myself simply don't take a lot of vacation time.

I am less than two weeks away from boarding a plane for Maui. Some months ago, our youngest daughter, with her husband and children, planned a trip to Maui for their annual "R and R". My son-in-law works with the U.S. State Department in Korea, and we thought it would be an excellent opportunity to meet up with them and have a nice vacation with our two youngest granddaughters.

I am looking forward to the trip.

Being self-employed in a professional practice has its benefits. But its biggest drawback is the fact that if I don't work, I don't earn any money. And even if I am not working, staff salaries, rent and other overhead expenses still must be paid. So when I plan a vacation, I have to take into account not only the cost of the trip, but also the loss of income that results from my not being in the office.

I try not to think too much about it, because doing so would only rob me of whatever pleasure I otherwise would derive from the time off in an exotic place.

It's a little easier this time. The thought of having the chance to spend time with Mandy, Gayer, Lily and Maddy makes the time away from work well worth it.

Even so, if it goes the way all of my previous vacations have gone, I will continue to spend considerable time pondering, thinking and worrying about my clients and their legal affairs, and I will stay in touch with my office staff via phone and email.

Aloha!

Reality TV - A Springboard for Has-Beens and Never-Will-Be's

OK, I'll admit it. I hunker down in front of my television set once a week for 16 weeks to watch Donald Trump's latest offering of "Apprentice", or "Celebrity Apprentice", as the case may be.

Actually, I rather more enjoy watching the "never-will-be's" on "Apprentice" than the has-beens on "Celebrity Apprentice". But the ever-increasing prominence of so-called "reality TV" demands comment.

To begin with, there is very little that is "real" about reality television. Reality stars and contestants are selected with specific criteria in mind. Just as game shows once selected their contestants based on their exuberance, personality and enthusiasm, reality TV producers select their participants based on their propensity and willingness to create, perpetrate and escalate controversy among their "co-stars". And Donald Trump apparently has figured out that his already huge audience would grow even more if the juvenile behavior that often is prevalent in publicly vented but often private personality conflicts is demonstrated by persons of some notoriety.

But like the game shows of old, most of the celebrities ultimately selected for participation either are on the fringes of fame and fortune, or their careers are declining. For the lucky few, like Joan Rivers, the 16-week exposure on network television has rekindled otherwise fading careers. For all of them, the show provided at least a brief return to the spotlight. But the cost in loss of public esteem seems too high.

Who among us has the same opinion of Dionne Warwick after her appearance on last year's Celebrity Apprentice? Who knew that Gary Busey was so weird, or that Meatloaf's temper was so volatile?

One thing is for certain. Those willing to publicly display their character flaws and childish behavior now have a career opportunity in television entertainment not previously available. Fashion designers, models and a host of others now can display not only the best of their work, but their petty jealousies, rivalries and disputes, as well.

I can only imagine what the TV executives will come up with next.

The Myth of "The Tough Lawyer"

Most individuals and small businesses are in the dark when they seek a lawyer. And with the advent of lawyer advertising in the mass media, the selection process has become even more confusing than it was when lawyer advertising was illegal.

Whether it's negotiating a contract, appearing in Court, or handling a divorce, a substantial number of legal consumers believe that a "tough, aggressive" lawyer is better than one who is not viewed as "tough" or "aggressive". This belief is grounded in the misconception that adjectives such as "bulldog", "tough", "aggressive", or "obdurate" are synonymous with "competence", "knowledge", "skillful" or "effective".

The simple truth is that a "tough lawyer" is not always a "good lawyer". In fact, some of the very best lawyers that I know - and who also are recognized in the profession as being among the best - are attorneys that few would describe as "tough" or "aggressive". Instead, these elite lawyers are ethical, knowledgeable, talented and competent, and they provide solid representation for their clients. The list of such attorneys is a long one, and includes lawyers with whom I have been associated and against whom I have battled in Court.

But in my profession, like most others, the public's perception of a practitioner's reputation is what gets a prospective client in the door. And too many attorneys spend thousands of dollars advertising their aggressiveness (carefully, I might add, to avoid disciplinary action by the State Bar) while lacking the legal skills to deliver the best representation.

So what can a legal consumer do to improve his or her chances of hiring the right lawyer for the right job? It takes a little effort, but the effort is worth it.

First, the legal consumer can access attorney peer review ratings and client reviews by consulting professional websites like www.lawyers.com. Additional information about an attorney, including information about any previous disciplinary actions, can be obtained at the State Bar of Texas website, www.texasbar.com. Finally, seeking a referral to an attorney by a family member, friend or business associate who has had previous experience with the attorney is useful, as well.

This article is not intended to criticize or deride any attorney who uses the public media for advertising. Many attorneys who advertise in the media are competent in their areas of expertise. Rather, the purpose of this article is to encourage individuals and small businesses to avoid relying solely upon the public perception of the professional reputation of a lawyer in choosing legal representation.

When selecting a lawyer, do your homework. You will be glad you did.

On Being My Valentine

Begging your pardon for my bias, I am not exaggerating when I say that my wife is one of the most naturally gifted and talented people that I know. Only lack of ambition and a hidden shyness (although she is very extroverted among friends and acquaintances) have prevented the general public from being aware of her many and varied talents.

In addition to her day job working for my firm as office manager on a part time basis, she is an ordained clergy in the Episcopal Diocese of Fort Worth, serving as Deacon at St. Alban's in Arlington, and as of last night, she is vice-president of our Homeowners' Association. When she isn't handling the business affairs of my law firm, or performing her ministry in the Church, or dealing with the varied responsibilities required to maintain the integrity of our Homeowners' Association, she is producing commercial quality clothing, knitting complex patterns on blankets and other items she is creating, or visiting with our daughter and granddaughters in Korea on Skype. I have yet to see her do anything that she did not do very well.

Her days are a full 24 hours long, but with all of what she puts into them, they seem much longer.

And so, on this Valentine's Day of 2012, I dedicate this brief post to my wife, the Reverend Nancy S. Weaver. Sometimes crude, sometimes politically incorrect, sometimes funny, and sometimes deadly serious. But always compassionate and always delightful.

Happy Valentine's Day, sweetheart!

Doo-Doo, Fire Drills & The Joy of Being a Grandpa

The best thing about being Grandpa to eight kids ranging in age from 13 years to three months is the chance to be a spectator of their lives.

As a parent, I must have been so busy raising my daughters and trying to get ahead that I either didn't have the time or take the time to really watch as they grew up. I just woke up one day and realized that they were all grown up. So I vowed to not let that happen with my grandchildren.

And with some of the antics they have provided, I have not been disappointed.

For example, my 22-month old granddaughter Lily is beginning to develop a vocabulary and is learning all sorts of new words. She still needs a little work on pronunciation for some of them, but she pronounces "doo-doo" perfectly. Not only that, she knows what it is! It might not seem very funny until you hear a 22-month-old say it. It causes me a chuckle just thinking about it.

My granddaughter Lizzie (who is now 8 years old) came home from school one day after a fireman had given her class a demonstration and casually asked her mom to "set my leg on fire". My daughter quite naturally was taken aback by this request and inquired as to its purpose. In her matter-of-fact way, Lizzie replied, "I want to practice my stop, drop and roll."

Hayley, who is 11 going on 21, has discovered boys. Lucy, who also is 11, told her pre-school graduating class that she wanted to be "an ice cream man" when she grows up. Five-year-old Samantha, who started kindergarten this year, simply did not understand why she was required to go to school every day.

Annabelle hit her terrible twos in January, and she would rather "work" at "Gop-paw's" office than anything else. Lucy, my other 11-year-old, quietly manipulates her little sister and her cousins into trouble while she remains mysteriously aloof and unaffected. Maddy, at three months, has discovered the skill of manipulation by being selective in giving a simple smile.

And Matthew, the 13-year-old patriarch of this motley crew, has become "king of the misfits". It seems that all of the nerdy, non-cool boys at his school and in his neighborhood have gravitated toward him, and he leads them in some of the most imaginative and creative "games" that I have seen.

All in all, it's been a joyous and wonderful experience for me. And every day I wait to see or hear about the ongoing adventures of these remarkable kids.

Setting Priorities

I attend Church nearly every Sunday, and I confess that there are too many times when I don't pay enough attention to the message that my priest delivers in his sermon. But on those occasions when I do pay attention, I almost always hear something useful and inspiring. And sometimes, what strikes me the most is an idea that is not even central to the message that the priest is sending.

A good example of this occurred this past Sunday, when Fr. Joe Scalisi made what many may have considered to be a rather off-hand remark during the preface to his sermon. He said, "What we choose to do with our lives is a direct reflection of what we believe life is all about." I had heard this theme presented in other ways on several occasions, but I never heard it put in such an all-encompassing and comprehensive fashion.

It caused me to think about what I have done with my life. More importantly, it caused me to consider, based on what I have done with my life, what I must believe life to be all about. It was a revealing and not altogether complimentary exercise.

Up until the past dozen years or so, I devoted my life to the pursuit of money, prestige and temporal pleasures. I wanted to accumulate enough wealth do whatever I believed that I needed to do in order to satisfy my desire for comfort and pleasure. Not much else mattered, unless some pleasurable experience could be derived from it.

Even during the past few years, I have found myself from time to time slipping back into this selfish pattern. But my priorities have changed over the years, and although I still recognize the value of earning a living, I have learned that there is more value in contributing to life than in taking from it.

Setting priorities and deciding "what life is all about" has been an ongoing process for me, and my concept of what is most important in life has changed over the years. In evaluating what I have done with my life in recent years, I have discovered that the things that matter most to me involve first my relationship with God and family, followed closely by my intense desire to make a difference in the lives of those people who come to me seeking professional help.

I still fall into some of the old selfish habits that marred my younger years. However, as long as I remember to pay close attention to those Sunday sermons, I can be reminded of what I really believe to be important and what I really believe life to be all about.