I attend Church nearly every Sunday, and I confess that there are too many times when I don't pay enough attention to the message that my priest delivers in his sermon. But on those occasions when I do pay attention, I almost always hear something useful and inspiring. And sometimes, what strikes me the most is an idea that is not even central to the message that the priest is sending.
A good example of this occurred this past Sunday, when Fr. Joe Scalisi made what many may have considered to be a rather off-hand remark during the preface to his sermon. He said, "What we choose to do with our lives is a direct reflection of what we believe life is all about." I had heard this theme presented in other ways on several occasions, but I never heard it put in such an all-encompassing and comprehensive fashion.
It caused me to think about what I have done with my life. More importantly, it caused me to consider, based on what I have done with my life, what I must believe life to be all about. It was a revealing and not altogether complimentary exercise.
Up until the past dozen years or so, I devoted my life to the pursuit of money, prestige and temporal pleasures. I wanted to accumulate enough wealth do whatever I believed that I needed to do in order to satisfy my desire for comfort and pleasure. Not much else mattered, unless some pleasurable experience could be derived from it.
Even during the past few years, I have found myself from time to time slipping back into this selfish pattern. But my priorities have changed over the years, and although I still recognize the value of earning a living, I have learned that there is more value in contributing to life than in taking from it.
Setting priorities and deciding "what life is all about" has been an ongoing process for me, and my concept of what is most important in life has changed over the years. In evaluating what I have done with my life in recent years, I have discovered that the things that matter most to me involve first my relationship with God and family, followed closely by my intense desire to make a difference in the lives of those people who come to me seeking professional help.
I still fall into some of the old selfish habits that marred my younger years. However, as long as I remember to pay close attention to those Sunday sermons, I can be reminded of what I really believe to be important and what I really believe life to be all about.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
It's a Matter of Personal Responsibility
About 27 years ago, I made a decision to leave a large, prestigious law firm where I represented several very large corporate clients to open my own law firm. I was motivated not only by the idea of becoming the master of my own fate by becoming self-employed, I wanted to practice the kind of law that would make a difference in the lives and fortunes of the people and the small to medium sized businesses that I represented.
I admit that there have been times when I thought that I regretted that decision, especially when my bank account was on life support. Nevertheless, I am satisfied with the decision that I made.
Being self-employed in a professional practice has taught me more about personal responsibility than I ever could have learned otherwise. The first hard lesson about personal responsibility was learned when I woke up one morning shortly after I had resigned my position at my previous employer and realized that I was facing a substantial debt and could no longer count on a substantial paycheck like the one that I had been receiving from my employer.
If I was to feed my family and to pay my bills, it was up to me to find clients who would pay me for my time and professional services. At times the learning curve was steep, but necessity forced me to learn about marketing my legal services, which was required in order to attract my clients. And I was driven by necessity to achieve results that my clients expected.
By most accounts, it can be said that I have managed to build a substantial and successful law practice over the past 27 years. Whatever success I have achieved was possible only because I realized from the beginning that it was up to me and me alone to do what was required to succeed.
About a year ago, I was diagnosed with diabetes, and my physician informed me that I needed to adjust my lifestyle and diet. My doctor could tell me what I needed to do, but it was up to me to do it. During the past year, the lifestyle and diet changes that I made have resulted in the loss of 60 to 70 pounds, and my latest laboratory tests indicate that my diabetes is well under control
Space does not permit me to recite the many failures that I have experienced during the past three decades, but for each failure a valuable lesson was learned. And more importantly, those lessons could not have been learned if I had refused to accept personal responsibility for those failures.
Whether facing economic difficulties or relationship problems, each of us can achieve our goals by recognizing that we are personally responsible for how we react and respond to life's challenges. We cannot always control what happens to us, but we alone are responsible for how we deal with the events of our lives. Recognizing our personal responsibility is the first step toward acquiring the courage and skill necessary to create happy and productive lives for ourselves.
It's up to you. It's up to me. It's a matter of personal responsibility.
I admit that there have been times when I thought that I regretted that decision, especially when my bank account was on life support. Nevertheless, I am satisfied with the decision that I made.
Being self-employed in a professional practice has taught me more about personal responsibility than I ever could have learned otherwise. The first hard lesson about personal responsibility was learned when I woke up one morning shortly after I had resigned my position at my previous employer and realized that I was facing a substantial debt and could no longer count on a substantial paycheck like the one that I had been receiving from my employer.
If I was to feed my family and to pay my bills, it was up to me to find clients who would pay me for my time and professional services. At times the learning curve was steep, but necessity forced me to learn about marketing my legal services, which was required in order to attract my clients. And I was driven by necessity to achieve results that my clients expected.
By most accounts, it can be said that I have managed to build a substantial and successful law practice over the past 27 years. Whatever success I have achieved was possible only because I realized from the beginning that it was up to me and me alone to do what was required to succeed.
About a year ago, I was diagnosed with diabetes, and my physician informed me that I needed to adjust my lifestyle and diet. My doctor could tell me what I needed to do, but it was up to me to do it. During the past year, the lifestyle and diet changes that I made have resulted in the loss of 60 to 70 pounds, and my latest laboratory tests indicate that my diabetes is well under control
Space does not permit me to recite the many failures that I have experienced during the past three decades, but for each failure a valuable lesson was learned. And more importantly, those lessons could not have been learned if I had refused to accept personal responsibility for those failures.
Whether facing economic difficulties or relationship problems, each of us can achieve our goals by recognizing that we are personally responsible for how we react and respond to life's challenges. We cannot always control what happens to us, but we alone are responsible for how we deal with the events of our lives. Recognizing our personal responsibility is the first step toward acquiring the courage and skill necessary to create happy and productive lives for ourselves.
It's up to you. It's up to me. It's a matter of personal responsibility.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Better Late Than Never
I never have been the "first on my block" to find out about or to do anything. And being naturally independent and rebellious, I seldom was one for jumping onto anybody's bandwagon, if for no other reason than to avoid being called a "Johnny-come-lately".
But there are certain fads and trends that I simply have been unable to side-step, foremost among them during my lifetime has been the personal computer and the Internet.
When I began my journalism career, I wrote news stories on an old-fashioned Royal typewriter. When my newspaper employer entered the electronic age and installed IBM Selectric typewriters, I purchased my old Royal for $25.00. I still have it (almost 40 years later), and it is still in good working condition. I had begun my legal career before my newspaper moved to the next level of technology by installing word processing.
At the dawn of my legal career, lawyers conducted legal research among the thousands of volumes of books and treatises in a law library, which at most firms required a full-time law librarian just to keep the constant supply of supplemental material current. Now, legal research is performed online, and many more resources are available from online legal libraries than what ever could have been maintained in even the most extensive traditional law library.
In addition, our legal secretaries were required to type our pleadings, correspondence and other documents on electric typewriters, some of which were equipped with "mag-cards" for those documents with established templates requiring only that the blanks be filled in. After a couple of years, the firm where I was employed as a young associate purchased word processors, and from that point the days of carbon paper and clicking typewriters going at 120+ words per minute were numbered.
In 1985, when I first opened my own law practice, I purchased my first computer (for almost $7,000.00), to be used exclusively by my secretary for word processing purposes, because word processing was about the only function that the computer had and certainly was the only function anyone in my office knew how to access and operate.
By the late 1980s, personal computers became more affordable, and the Internet began to gain some traction. A couple of young men, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, had begun development of software programs and operating systems that ultimately would make cyberspace and computer operations available to everyone - even me.
Fast-forwarding to 2012, I can say only that the past 30 years have been a technological whirlwind. Internet advertising and marketing have moved to the forefront for nearly every service industry in the country. Social media sites are beginning to play a huge role in the marketing of goods and services. The development of IP services able to transmit voice and image, such as Skype, have brought distant friends and family closer together. Thanks to this technology, I don't have to wait months (or sometimes years) before seeing two of my grandchildren who currently are residing in Korea and who will be moving to Eastern Europe this summer.
But the technological revolution has had a darker side, as well. New crimes, scams and other fraudulent activities have found a home on the Internet. Identity theft has become a major problem, and an entirely new industry has been developed to provide protection against it.
My wife is fond of saying that I was dragged into the 20th century kicking and screaming, but not before the beginning of the 21st century. I am just now getting used to the 20th century, but I hope to see you all soon in the 21st century.
Beam me up, Scotty.
But there are certain fads and trends that I simply have been unable to side-step, foremost among them during my lifetime has been the personal computer and the Internet.
When I began my journalism career, I wrote news stories on an old-fashioned Royal typewriter. When my newspaper employer entered the electronic age and installed IBM Selectric typewriters, I purchased my old Royal for $25.00. I still have it (almost 40 years later), and it is still in good working condition. I had begun my legal career before my newspaper moved to the next level of technology by installing word processing.
At the dawn of my legal career, lawyers conducted legal research among the thousands of volumes of books and treatises in a law library, which at most firms required a full-time law librarian just to keep the constant supply of supplemental material current. Now, legal research is performed online, and many more resources are available from online legal libraries than what ever could have been maintained in even the most extensive traditional law library.
In addition, our legal secretaries were required to type our pleadings, correspondence and other documents on electric typewriters, some of which were equipped with "mag-cards" for those documents with established templates requiring only that the blanks be filled in. After a couple of years, the firm where I was employed as a young associate purchased word processors, and from that point the days of carbon paper and clicking typewriters going at 120+ words per minute were numbered.
In 1985, when I first opened my own law practice, I purchased my first computer (for almost $7,000.00), to be used exclusively by my secretary for word processing purposes, because word processing was about the only function that the computer had and certainly was the only function anyone in my office knew how to access and operate.
By the late 1980s, personal computers became more affordable, and the Internet began to gain some traction. A couple of young men, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, had begun development of software programs and operating systems that ultimately would make cyberspace and computer operations available to everyone - even me.
Fast-forwarding to 2012, I can say only that the past 30 years have been a technological whirlwind. Internet advertising and marketing have moved to the forefront for nearly every service industry in the country. Social media sites are beginning to play a huge role in the marketing of goods and services. The development of IP services able to transmit voice and image, such as Skype, have brought distant friends and family closer together. Thanks to this technology, I don't have to wait months (or sometimes years) before seeing two of my grandchildren who currently are residing in Korea and who will be moving to Eastern Europe this summer.
But the technological revolution has had a darker side, as well. New crimes, scams and other fraudulent activities have found a home on the Internet. Identity theft has become a major problem, and an entirely new industry has been developed to provide protection against it.
My wife is fond of saying that I was dragged into the 20th century kicking and screaming, but not before the beginning of the 21st century. I am just now getting used to the 20th century, but I hope to see you all soon in the 21st century.
Beam me up, Scotty.
Friday, January 13, 2012
More Than Just a Name
I have been known by many names.
My wife and step-daughter call me "Bear", probably because of my ability to grow a lot of hair everywhere except on my head. My daughters call me "Daddy". My golfing buddies call me "The Weave". My brothers call me "Bub" or "Bubba", and my mother calls me "Son". Some of my social and business friends call me "R. David", while others call me simply "David". Most of my clients refer to me as either "Mr. Weaver" or "Attorney Weaver", and in a couple of cases, "Dr. Weaver" (after all, most lawyers do hold doctoral degrees, although we seldom use the title).
But the widest variety of names by which I have been called has originated with my grandchildren. I remember that before my grandson was born almost 14 years ago, I gave considerable thought to how I would like for him to refer to me. Having never arrived at a final decision, I simply allowed him to call me whatever he chose to call me, and I have followed that tradition with all of my grandchildren who came after him. As a result, I have been known by names ranging from "Pop-Paw" to "BamPaw" to "Gamp-Paw" to "Grandpa".
Coming from the mouths of my grandchildren, the words are music to my ears, regardless of the name by which they call me.
The name by which others refer to us is one of the most important ingredients of what constitutes our own self-image. Hence, when we engage in "name-calling" of our enemies or opponents, we are engaging in a form of combat designed to injure that person's image of himself.
Our names are of critical importance to us. Being a former journalist, I learned firsthand how folks react when their names are misspelled in public media. It is an old saying and an axiom among publicist: "Say what you may about me, but be sure to spell my name correctly."
Moreover, a good name logically suggests a good reputation. History is replete with examples of those who have gone to great lengths to protect or restore their good names (and, hence, their reputations).
Clearly, a name is more than a label. The names by which we are known say much about who we are, what we do and the relationships we have with our fellows. And although we all are a single person, the names we are called reflect that we are people of many characteristics, traits, relationships and abilities.
My wife and step-daughter call me "Bear", probably because of my ability to grow a lot of hair everywhere except on my head. My daughters call me "Daddy". My golfing buddies call me "The Weave". My brothers call me "Bub" or "Bubba", and my mother calls me "Son". Some of my social and business friends call me "R. David", while others call me simply "David". Most of my clients refer to me as either "Mr. Weaver" or "Attorney Weaver", and in a couple of cases, "Dr. Weaver" (after all, most lawyers do hold doctoral degrees, although we seldom use the title).
But the widest variety of names by which I have been called has originated with my grandchildren. I remember that before my grandson was born almost 14 years ago, I gave considerable thought to how I would like for him to refer to me. Having never arrived at a final decision, I simply allowed him to call me whatever he chose to call me, and I have followed that tradition with all of my grandchildren who came after him. As a result, I have been known by names ranging from "Pop-Paw" to "BamPaw" to "Gamp-Paw" to "Grandpa".
Coming from the mouths of my grandchildren, the words are music to my ears, regardless of the name by which they call me.
The name by which others refer to us is one of the most important ingredients of what constitutes our own self-image. Hence, when we engage in "name-calling" of our enemies or opponents, we are engaging in a form of combat designed to injure that person's image of himself.
Our names are of critical importance to us. Being a former journalist, I learned firsthand how folks react when their names are misspelled in public media. It is an old saying and an axiom among publicist: "Say what you may about me, but be sure to spell my name correctly."
Moreover, a good name logically suggests a good reputation. History is replete with examples of those who have gone to great lengths to protect or restore their good names (and, hence, their reputations).
Clearly, a name is more than a label. The names by which we are known say much about who we are, what we do and the relationships we have with our fellows. And although we all are a single person, the names we are called reflect that we are people of many characteristics, traits, relationships and abilities.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Happy New Year - One Day at a Time
Ah, the New Year. It's that arbitrarily selected day on the calendar when we all feel like we are getting a fresh start. A time when we can put the past behind us and begin anew, hoping to avoid the mistakes of the previous 12 months by resolving to do better. But the problem with New Year's resolutions is that they require us to change our behaviors in order to accomplish those things we have resolved to accomplish. And researchers tell us that up to 90 percent of the resolutions we make on New Year's Day have been abandoned before the end of January.
What if every day was New Year's Day? What if, every time we wake up in the morning, we can have the sensation of a new beginning that the new day brings that encourages us to learn from the previous day's mistakes, put them behind us and then resolve not to repeat them just for the day ahead?
As a poker player, most of the serious mistakes I have seen made by players (and at times have made, myself) occur when a player who has been losing tries to "get even". This impulse will cause a player to make unprofitable decisions, usually resulting in increasing his losses and resulting in still poorer play in later hands. One of the world's best poker players once provided me with a valuable suggestion to avoid falling victim to this downward spiral. He said, "Remember, you are even at the beginning of each hand that is dealt. Every hand is a new game, and what happened before that is history."
The same can be said in every area of my life, whether professional, personal or financial. Although there certainly are consequences that must be faced and endured as a result of my mistakes, those consequences and the mistakes of the past that led to them do not have to negatively affect the way in which I conduct myself today.
If I have a New Year's resolution to make, it is that I resolve to treat every new day as if it is New Year's Day. I will try to learn from my past mistakes, and more importantly, I will try to remember that if I continue to do what I always have done, I will get what I always have gotten. And if I want to achieve a different result (whether it's losing weight, acquiring more wealth, becoming a better person, etc.), I cannot succeed unless I do something different. With the beginning of each day, I have a chance to try something new in order to achieve what I want to achieve.
With that in mind, I wish all of you a very happy and prosperous New Year, and more to the point, have a Happy New Day!
What if every day was New Year's Day? What if, every time we wake up in the morning, we can have the sensation of a new beginning that the new day brings that encourages us to learn from the previous day's mistakes, put them behind us and then resolve not to repeat them just for the day ahead?
As a poker player, most of the serious mistakes I have seen made by players (and at times have made, myself) occur when a player who has been losing tries to "get even". This impulse will cause a player to make unprofitable decisions, usually resulting in increasing his losses and resulting in still poorer play in later hands. One of the world's best poker players once provided me with a valuable suggestion to avoid falling victim to this downward spiral. He said, "Remember, you are even at the beginning of each hand that is dealt. Every hand is a new game, and what happened before that is history."
The same can be said in every area of my life, whether professional, personal or financial. Although there certainly are consequences that must be faced and endured as a result of my mistakes, those consequences and the mistakes of the past that led to them do not have to negatively affect the way in which I conduct myself today.
If I have a New Year's resolution to make, it is that I resolve to treat every new day as if it is New Year's Day. I will try to learn from my past mistakes, and more importantly, I will try to remember that if I continue to do what I always have done, I will get what I always have gotten. And if I want to achieve a different result (whether it's losing weight, acquiring more wealth, becoming a better person, etc.), I cannot succeed unless I do something different. With the beginning of each day, I have a chance to try something new in order to achieve what I want to achieve.
With that in mind, I wish all of you a very happy and prosperous New Year, and more to the point, have a Happy New Day!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Making Christmas Memories
I love the Christmas season. As the old song goes, "it's the most wonderful time of the year!"
This has been an especially joyous Christmas, as I welcomed my eighth grandchild on November 7. Our youngest daughter, Mandy, came home from Korea (where my son-in-law works for the U.S. State Department) in September to have the baby, and we have had the pleasure of having her (along with the baby and the 20-month-old "big sister") staying with us. I will be very sad to see them leave on New Year's Eve, although I know that they are anxious to get back to their own home.
Our neighborhood is awash in Christmas lights and decorations, and the annual parade of cars driving through the neighborhood to view the sights has begun. I am almost through with my Christmas shopping, and we have just begun wrapping the gifts. And I am beside myself with excitement and anticipation of our Christmas celebration this weekend with all four of my daughters and all eight of my grandchildren.
Normally, I don't like crowds and I detest shopping, but I always seem to get carried away by the Christmas spirit when shopping with my wife for Christmas gifts. I love the hustle and bustle of the season and the sights and smells that are uniquely connected with Christmas.
There are some who might be expecting me to insert at this point a reminder of the "real meaning of Christmas". But I am going to leave that task to others. It seems as though those who would presume to remind us of the "true meaning of Christmas" would prefer that we temper our celebration of the season, suggesting that the joy we experience in the shopping, decorating and gift giving is somehow unseemly or in some way disregards the "reason for the season".
Christmas is a time of celebration. It is a time for me to be grateful for my family, friends, colleagues and clients. And it is a time for me to celebrate the greatest gift the world has ever known -- the birth of Christ.
It truly is "the most wonderful time of the year!"
This has been an especially joyous Christmas, as I welcomed my eighth grandchild on November 7. Our youngest daughter, Mandy, came home from Korea (where my son-in-law works for the U.S. State Department) in September to have the baby, and we have had the pleasure of having her (along with the baby and the 20-month-old "big sister") staying with us. I will be very sad to see them leave on New Year's Eve, although I know that they are anxious to get back to their own home.
Our neighborhood is awash in Christmas lights and decorations, and the annual parade of cars driving through the neighborhood to view the sights has begun. I am almost through with my Christmas shopping, and we have just begun wrapping the gifts. And I am beside myself with excitement and anticipation of our Christmas celebration this weekend with all four of my daughters and all eight of my grandchildren.
Normally, I don't like crowds and I detest shopping, but I always seem to get carried away by the Christmas spirit when shopping with my wife for Christmas gifts. I love the hustle and bustle of the season and the sights and smells that are uniquely connected with Christmas.
There are some who might be expecting me to insert at this point a reminder of the "real meaning of Christmas". But I am going to leave that task to others. It seems as though those who would presume to remind us of the "true meaning of Christmas" would prefer that we temper our celebration of the season, suggesting that the joy we experience in the shopping, decorating and gift giving is somehow unseemly or in some way disregards the "reason for the season".
Christmas is a time of celebration. It is a time for me to be grateful for my family, friends, colleagues and clients. And it is a time for me to celebrate the greatest gift the world has ever known -- the birth of Christ.
It truly is "the most wonderful time of the year!"
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Becoming a Better Lawyer
I just had a birthday. In my younger days, my birthday was cause for celebration of what I believed would be an exciting future. However, I recently have begun to use the occasion to reflect upon my past and the many turning points in my life, all culminating in the who and what I have come to be. Although I still look to an exciting future still to be experienced, I do so with greater circumspection, realizing that I cannot disregard or dismiss my past if I am to fully engage in my future.
My law school dean and mentor, the late and legendary Angus S. McSwain, once said that human character is built up of the innumerable and apparently insignificant choices a person must make in the course of a lifetime. "It is not the work of a minute, or a week, or a year," he said. "The going is rough. But every day, as we make decisions that seem small and unimportant, we are fitting together the pieces of the pattern which will show the picture of our real self."
As I reflect upon those choices that I have made in my life which seemed at the time to be small and insignificant, the result of their cumulative effect is humbling, and I am bound to acknowledge the fact that God has used my choices - even those improvidently and unwisely made - to place me in a position to be of service to Him and to His people. And I must admit that I never intended to design a plan for my life that would place me in the position in which I now find myself. My plan was to create for myself a certain level of financial security. Rich and famous would have been nice, but I was willing to settle for "comfortable". The thought of being of any meaningful service to God and to His people never entered my mind.
When I decided that I would become a lawyer, I labored under the common misconception that all lawyers are wealthy, and although many of us earn above-average incomes, the truth is that lawyers are no different from most people who are trying to make a living. Although I have been blessed with what some might call "success" in my career, I have undergone many of the same struggles experienced by many others - mostly due to my many improvident and unwise decisions that I previously mentioned.
The miracle is that the struggles I have experienced have been the instrument by which I discovered that there is more to life than acquiring wealth and financial security. That is not to say that financial security is an unworthy goal. Instead, my quest for it must be tempered by my acknowledgment of the fact that I am under a greater obligation to seek and do what I believe God would have me do, and that performing His work should be my first priority. And when my priorities are properly placed, I find fulfillment that transcends any financial security that I might achieve through the accumulation of wealth.
I must admit that I still struggle with the almost overpowering compulsion to try to increase my own wealth. But as the birthdays come and go, and as these times of reflection are put to good use, I am becoming much better at recognizing and doing that which I am called to do, and as I improve upon that, I become a much better lawyer.
R. David Weaver
My law school dean and mentor, the late and legendary Angus S. McSwain, once said that human character is built up of the innumerable and apparently insignificant choices a person must make in the course of a lifetime. "It is not the work of a minute, or a week, or a year," he said. "The going is rough. But every day, as we make decisions that seem small and unimportant, we are fitting together the pieces of the pattern which will show the picture of our real self."
As I reflect upon those choices that I have made in my life which seemed at the time to be small and insignificant, the result of their cumulative effect is humbling, and I am bound to acknowledge the fact that God has used my choices - even those improvidently and unwisely made - to place me in a position to be of service to Him and to His people. And I must admit that I never intended to design a plan for my life that would place me in the position in which I now find myself. My plan was to create for myself a certain level of financial security. Rich and famous would have been nice, but I was willing to settle for "comfortable". The thought of being of any meaningful service to God and to His people never entered my mind.
When I decided that I would become a lawyer, I labored under the common misconception that all lawyers are wealthy, and although many of us earn above-average incomes, the truth is that lawyers are no different from most people who are trying to make a living. Although I have been blessed with what some might call "success" in my career, I have undergone many of the same struggles experienced by many others - mostly due to my many improvident and unwise decisions that I previously mentioned.
The miracle is that the struggles I have experienced have been the instrument by which I discovered that there is more to life than acquiring wealth and financial security. That is not to say that financial security is an unworthy goal. Instead, my quest for it must be tempered by my acknowledgment of the fact that I am under a greater obligation to seek and do what I believe God would have me do, and that performing His work should be my first priority. And when my priorities are properly placed, I find fulfillment that transcends any financial security that I might achieve through the accumulation of wealth.
I must admit that I still struggle with the almost overpowering compulsion to try to increase my own wealth. But as the birthdays come and go, and as these times of reflection are put to good use, I am becoming much better at recognizing and doing that which I am called to do, and as I improve upon that, I become a much better lawyer.
R. David Weaver
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